It is yet another beautiful day in Guyana. Currently the group has some down time and we are all either napping, reading, or sunbathing. This morning we travelled to the convalescent home where we spent a few hours providing infants,toddlers, and disabled children with some well-deserved attention. They were all so cute and well-behaved, but it was difficult being there and understanding that these children didn't have the kind of smothering affection we had received as children.
Today was particularly difficult for me because Ibby, Danika, and I went and played with an 8-year-old who was mentally handicapped. He was alone in a room without anything to play with and his caretakers said that he liked to be alone. Shortly after joining him and playing some music, we realized how happy he was to have us around. We danced and danced with him and he had the biggest smile. It was phenomenal to be able to make him so cheerful.
Another child, Kevin, joined him and the first thing he did was hug me. I was warned that he was a biter and I became frightened he would really chomp down on me if I wasn't careful, but again, found this to be slightly incorrect. All he wanted was to be hugged and held and to look out the window. He seemed to really be enjoying himself, as was I, although by this point I was drenched in sweat and wishing for another fan in the room.
All too soon, it was time to go, and Kevin and David stood in front of the door to block us from leaving. His distress was very painful to watch, and my guilt for leaving him was overwhelming. I just fear that, more often than not, he is left staring out that window watching the world go by. It is not my place to judge the kind of care that he is receiving because my time here is so limited, but it is definitely challenging.
The Guyanese agencies that care for these individuals are still a little behind in their conceptions of the developmentally-disabled, and I know that until recently in the USA we acted in similar ways, so it is unfair to hold them to a higher standard. By most standards, Kevin and David were well-fed, clean,and clothed. But is that enough? From our classes at night, the group must consider whether a person deserves more than what is offered to them in the way of rights. Love cannot be provided through a law; it must be given by the surrounding communities.
The question is really what makes a life worth living. Do we owe it to Others to do more than simply respect their rights? ...My answer is yes, but I'll be damned if I know how to make that happen.
Alright, the group is being roused for the next site---I hope this blog post was interesting enough, and just know that everyone here is having their bodies as well as their minds and souls nourished.
All the best,
Amanda
Amanda i love your blog. I know how hard that was for you to walk away but you must remember that the trip you are on has already helped so much to so many. I am very proud of all of you on this trip giving of yourselves so freely and getting the rewards back. Miss you. Mom
ReplyDeleteAmanda, I don't know you--I'm Dylan's mom--but I recognize in your question and your struggles what all of us struggle with: How do we use our gifts to share our gifts with those who need them so desperately? I think you've already found an answer. We parents have showered you, our gifts, with our love and support. Now we are sharing you with others--and what wonderful gifts of love and affection are coming back your way! Don't lose the wonderful feel of those hugs in your concern about reaching every single need. You've done what you needed to already: you've reached out in love and compassion when the need was placed before you. The rest, the fixing of the big picture is not ours to do alone--it's not our project. But every act of love and compassion brings everyone that much closer to what we feel in our hearts we were meant to be. Blessings on you all, and enjoy the fabulous gifts you are receiving! Celeste Calabotta
ReplyDeleteAmanda, your blog has really hit home and made me so emotional. As the director of an agency that provides services to children, teens and adults with developmental disabilities and their families I have the honor of spending everyday with amazing people who teach me so much. Our children have so many opportunities through inclusion, special education, integrated sports that it is painful to hear that children are still labeled (a biter) and do not have access to affection and stimuli to help them develop and feel human connections. Thanks to you and the gang, these children felt joy, love and could be free to express themselves. I hope that the orphanage caregivers learned by your example how to not label and give the kids a chance to be. You are all so brave and that brings me joy.
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